How to Understand Violent Behavior in Children (1 of 3)

Violent behavior, also known as aggressive behavior, is an action or actions that causes harm to others. Violent behaviors in children can include a wide range of actions, including explosive temper tantrums, physical aggression, fighting, animal cruelty and intentional destruction of items. If your child has been displaying violent behavior, it is important to try to understand why the behavior is happening so that you can better remedy it the problem.

EditMethod One of Three:
Understanding the Behavior in Relation to General Factors

1
Consider your child’s age. Younger children, generally between the ages of two and four, may have a hard time expressing their thoughts and feelings because their communications skills are not fully developed. This inability to communicate may lead to violent behavior as a means to express themselves.
- This aggressive behavior will most likely decrease as your child grows older and learns how to express himself without resorting to violence.
2
Be aware that boys tend to be more aggressive than girls, though girls are also very capable of violent behavior. Girls tend to have more of a control over their anger, while boys often express themselves physically by punching or fighting. However, verbal aggression is more common in girls.^[1]
- This verbal aggression comes in the forms of name-calling, teasing, or gossiping, as well as nonverbal cues like eye-rolling or ignoring someone.
3
Understand different temperaments.Each child differs in how he handles his temper; just as results will react differently to the same stimuli. Children’s temperaments are generally classified as either “easy” or “difficult”.
- Children with “easy” temperaments tend to display positive emotions and are generally adaptable to different situations.
- Children with “difficult” temperaments tend to show negative emotions and do not adapt well to new situations.
4
Know that family dynamics can play a role in aggression. Often, the way that a child handles a situation depends on how he has seen his family resolve a similar conflict. Because of this, it is important to take your own behavior into consideration when trying to understand your child’s aggressive behavior.
- Monitoring your own behavior will be discussed more thoroughly in Method 3.
5
Be aware that the way that you discipline your child can affect his violent tendencies. Different forms of discipline can have different affects on children because children tend to mimic their parents or caregivers. If children are exposed to even mildly aggressive forms of discipline, they may develop these aggressive behaviors themselves.
- Try to maintain a fair and consistent form of discipline that does not involve violence in any way. This will be discussed more thoroughly in Method 3.
6
Know that some physical or neurologic conditions can lead to aggressive behavior. There are some health related problems and conditions that could affect a child and make his display aggressive behavior.^[2]
- For example, children with ADHD may display abrupt and aggressive behaviors
7

Take a look at your child’s sleeping patterns. Children who do not get enough sleep, or are having trouble sleeping at night may display more aggressive behaviors. This is because they are overtired, making them cranky and more prone to violent outbursts.