Happiness: what's real joy?
I am a 24 year old Indian guy. I am working as a Software Engineer in one of the country’s top IT firms. The job requires me to work 9 hours per day,five days a week. I almost end up working roughly 12 hours daily. On weekends,I freelance as a software/web developer. I don’t work overtime and I don’t freelance for money. We are a family of four – living in New Delhi since almost 60 years now – and all four of us are working. I like to work because it gives me peace.
I am not fond of people and I don’t have friends. I’ve been lucky enough to experience true friendship in life but somehow, being absolutely alone has always comforted me.
I have been switching off my mobile phone at 12 am on my birthday, every year since 2009. I call back a couple of people and cousins on my birthday because I know they would want to talk to me - and I want to talk to them as well!
On most Saturdays, I get up at 6 am and go for a run in one of the most beautiful places in the city. Then I come back, get fresh and leave the house with my wallet, my mobile phone, earphones, car keys and a book (and of course my car). I go to the tiniest of coffee shops in the most unexplored parts of Delhi and sit and read. For hours. All alone.
Then I head out, eat something REALLY good and take a s***-load of pictures. All alone. I am not on Facebook since a couple of years now – so I don’t really post them anywhere. They are just in my laptop and a very few of them get uploaded to my Instagram.
On Sundays, I skip the morning shower and stay in my room for 8-10 hours – binge-watching several TV shows and movies. I am a huge DC and Marvel fanatic and I read a lot of comics.
On weekdays, it’s mostly the same routine – get up and leave for work at around 10 and return by midnight. I open Whatsapp twice a day – before reaching office and after returning home. If I have to text something important to someone, I send an SMS.
I barely call people I know. It just freaks me out. I have no idea why. And yet, I manage to blabber my way through a 2-hour call with the client, who sits in the UK/US and will never meet me. I have no idea why.
I go for lunch/dinner in the office all by myself and spend the entire time scrolling down Quora.
I don’t have a bucket list.
I am not overly religious. I am a Hindu but I visit the Gurudwara whenever I can. I look up for Gurbanis on the internet and recite them. I attended a Christian convent school for 15 years and I read the Bible whenever I can. I pray a lot. I don’t fear God. Not one bit. I love Him. I don’t know why but the latest fad in India states that ‘praying and believing in God is not cool anymore, bruh’.
I have been called weird, arrogant, mean, lonely, reserved,unsocial, and reclusive and probably a hundred other things. Some people say that I am missing out on life. Because I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t do drugs. Or maybe because my Saturday nights are not spent at Haus Khaz Social or some other xyz pub in Delhi. Or maybe because I don’t open up to people. It has also been said that ‘I act as if I’m happy’ but I’m really not.
I don’t know if ‘they’ are right. And I don’t care. Nobody apart from me gets to decide how I live my life.
Right now, I am focusing on my first solo trip to Europe next year. I am a die-hard football follower and my club is based out of London and I have been planning to visit them since school.
Moral of the story: It is your life. You live it the way you want to live it. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment