Spice up your marriage even after kids

Spice up your marriage even after kids

It is possible to keep the spark alive in your marriage even with kids and this is how you can quit letting your kids kill your marriage.

It is possible to keep the spark alive in your marriage even with kids and this is how you can quit letting your kids kill your marriage.

Put your relationship first even before kids
Marriage is the backbone of happy family life. When it comes to building a healthy relationship with the spouse it is important that you reciprocate to your partner's love and affection. Do not forget to give your spouse a kiss when he /she comes back home after a hard day. It will make your partner feel special.

Date night after kid's bed time
One doesn't need to leave the house to date her spouse especially when babysitters are expensive. Parents can have a date night even at home after the kids go to bed. Shivani Sardesai, mother of two kids says, "We choose Friday nights for having fun together. 

We generally watch a movie together by munching pop corns and chips and our mind is also completely at peace because we are not ignoring the kids and at the same time we are catching up with some romance as a couple."

Don't dictate to dad how to spend time with kids
In a child's life moms and dads have very different roles to play. It is generally seen that mom is a nurturer and dad is a fun companion who loves to play a game of chess with kids even when they have exams the next day. Even though a mother's ways are generally safer, it is a lot better to say, "I trust you and love you to do it your way."

Appreciate each other
Growing up isn't fun and being a parent is all the more difficult. Paying the bill, cleaning the house, cooking for the family, making the kids do their home work takes away a lot of time and energy. It is important to thank each other for their contribution to the family. Everybody likes to be appreciated for their hard work and running the house is not an easy job.

Commit to physical intimacy
Sex is the physical expression of emotional love. Marriage counselor and a mother, Ronita Ray says, "Sex is the main reason that can keep the marriage alive and it is never hard to find a reason as to not make love, since we all know that sex makes babies. So just find time for each other."

Remember, that you are husband and wife before mom and dad
Before you have kids having fun as a couple in each other's company becomes the happiest thing in your life. But after having a kid, co-parenting becomes the single most important job and that's absolutely natural. 

But don't forget that you have to work a little harder to maintain your connection as a couple. Doing an activity together will give you the intimacy in your relationship. Play tennis together or go for a picnic or a long walk together. Chuck the phone and have a heart to heart conversation.

Picture him as the handsome guy that you once dated
He is your kid's father and husband now, but at one point of time he was the person with whom you were head-over-heels in love with. Psychologist, Radhika Dixit says, "Be positive in your relationship. Never allow your relationship to fade away with time. List those positive qualities in your spouse that you once loved so much."

Have your own life
Don't forget that you are an individual. Family and couple -time are important, but don't forget to give up on things that make you feel happy. Emotion is a contagious thing, but it is important to improve your own emotional quotient so that it has its effect on the whole family. 

So it is time to re-visit those places that made you feel happy like going for a yoga class, sitting in the library for some time, going out with your group of friends who makes you feel happy and a spa treatment. "It is only when you are happy that you can keep your family happy.