Speaking Tree - Try to overcome the carping spirit
Iwas chatting recently with a gentleman about my regard for someone we both knew who seemed to be a good man and well intentioned. My acquaintance remarked, “Yes, i agree, but ...” and then proceeded to list his grievances about this person, pointing one perceived fault after another. I reflected on why my critic friend had felt such a need to counter my innocuous, positive comment, with which he agreed, with his own list of negatives. It’s a common habit i try to resist. The mind, ever discontent, looks for, finds and dwells upon imperfections. “It’s a beautiful day, but ...” “That was a great meal, but …” “She’s a noble person, but …”
“I’m just trying to see all sides,” is an excuse one hears but is this really true? More importantly, is it helpful to habitually look for imperfections? Why must praise or compliments be tempered by perceived faults? When a friend proudly invites you to visit his new home, do you make an inspection of his closets to find flaws? Of course not; you say, “Congratulations.”
Incessant disgruntlement or feeling a need to “balance” positive observations with negative ones is a mental disease that feeds discontent and subtly attracts to us the very things we dislike. How could they not come when we are constantly on the lookout for them? Far from “seeing all sides”, we find ourselves exploring problems to such an extent that intuitive perception of higher, more expansive solutions to those same problems becomes impossible.
I knew a man who incessantly found fault with everything: co-workers, group decisions, world affairs, his family, current circumstances. Within short order, new acquaintances learnt to give him a wide berth or risk falling into his whirlpool of negativity. The result was a self-made world without friends along with a festering sense of victimhood that he was misunderstood and life had treated him unfairly. “If things were not so rotten, then i’d be happy,” was his assessment, failing to see his suffering was self-inflicted.
Those infected with the carping spirit close their doors to spiritual counsel or divine guidance from others or from the world around them. This was Krishna’s point when he says to Arjuna in the Bhagwad Gita, “To you, who have overcome the carping spirit, I now reveal the sublime mystery.” Arjuna, perfected in discipleship and with intellect purified, was receptive to what Krishna offered. By overcoming the impulse towards attitudes that block attunement, he actively drew guidance from his guru.
Rabia al-Basri, an eighth-century Sufi mystic, said, “Yes,” when asked, “Do you love God?” but surprised her audience when she was asked next, “Do you hate Satan?” “No,” Rabia replied. “My love for God leaves no room for hating Satan. My love for God has so possessed me that no place remains for loving or hating anyone save Him.”
Swami Kriyananda restated Rabia’s answer in one of his songs, “What we need is Light! You can’t drive out the darkness with a stick.” When Light fills us, where can darkness dwell? Swamiji’s focus upon Light was more than “positive thinking”. It recognised we do more than colour our view of “reality” by our state of mind. We actively participate in its creation and influence it to our benefit or ill. Give energy to the good if you wish to attract the better angels of happiness into your life. speakingtree.in
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